This is not my real world either
by LeaJailbird
Summary: "We've only been in this house for a day and I still wonder who will be the first one to get killed..." Me and Edward S, Bellatrix Lestrange, Jack and Sally Skellington, Todd, Lovett and Toby.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I really hate titles. I either come up with the best title ever but no story for it, or a great story but no title. Most often I simply don't name my stories until they are finished, but to post this story here I obviously have to.  
And another thing: I love imagination and hate logics. That is why many of my stories (none that I've published here, though) are like this: no explanations, just beautiful words about alternative realities.  
Lastly: The "I" in this story, the central character, is the real me. Although I use my name, Lea Jailbird, in this alternative reality. Me real name will, though, be uncovered in the last chapter ;)_

"I gave him my eternal devotion, I was his most faithful servant, I gave him my body and SOUL, and this is how he thanks me? Abandoned, betrayed, left all alone with his unborn child…"  
_Well, this is what love is like. You give another person your everything and get nothing back.  
_But how do I explain that to Bellatrix Lestrange without hurting her? Or… getting killed?  
_In the end, it's all about survival. For me, for my wards and for their unborn children.  
_I listen to her, let her cry and scream until she has calmed down. Her magic doesn't work in this house but I'm sure she wouldn't hesitate to use muggle methods for killing. Poor Edward is terrified of her. So are Mrs. Lovett and little Toby. Sweeney doesn't care about anything but his razors. Jack is the Pumpkin King and as the Master of Fear he has his own methods to keep Bellatrix away from his Pumpkin Queen and unborn Skellington child. And I think Bellatrix has started to respect him. For myself, I'm not sure of anything. We've only been in this house for a day and I still wonder who will be the first one to get killed.  
When Bellatrix has calmed down, I sneak out from her room and go downstairs. Realizing that Edward, Mrs. Lovett, Toby, Jack and Sally are sitting in the couch in the living room, holding their breaths.  
"Lea! You're alive!"  
Lea is not my real name. But this is not my real world either. I like the name Lea and, besides, it's pretty similar to my real name. It didn't take many hours to get used to it.  
"Yes, Mrs. Lovett, I'm alive. But Madame Lestrange is very upset, and her broken heart makes her even more dangerous."  
We hardly know each other so we're still being ridiculously polite. I actually asked Jack if I was supposed to call him Mr. Skellington or even Your Majesty, but then he started to laugh and said those titles were enough to scare even the Master of Fear. Since then, I just call him Jack. Happily, Mr. Skellington sounded terribly silly even in my ears. Mrs. Skellington was even worse, so I talk to both Jack and Sally in a friendly and relaxed way.  
I let my eyes wander over them and am suddenly filled with a deep and sincere devotion for them all. Toby and Mrs. Lovett, holding each other's hands. Edward, looking so scared and all alone that it almost breaks my heart. Jack, with his bony arm protectively wrapped around Sally. And in some way, I love my murderers as well. I think about Bellatrix, all alone in her room with an unborn Child of Evil. And Sweeney, in his own room, so dangerous and deep inside so sad, so misunderstood and all alone in this world...  
_No Lea, you will NOT go upstairs and give him a hug! He may need one, but he may also slit your throat. This is about survival. Besides, there is someone in your instant presence who needs a hug and who would never try to hurt you...  
_I walk over to Edward and wrap my arms around him, tightly. I feel him relax in my embrace and carefully move his scissor hands to hug me back.  
"Hush, darling. It's OK, you don't have to be scared. I'm here and I will never let anything hurt you."  
No matter how much Bellatrix scares me, I will protect Edward until death. Sweet and innocent Edward who looks at me like he really believes that I can protect him from anything, like he really adores me...  
"Thank you." He whispers when I reluctantly let go of him. I feel a loving smile spread in my face. It does go away, though, when Mrs. Lovett says:  
"We can't go on like this, Lea. She will kill us all, and..."  
_If you and Mr. Todd don't kill us first, turning us into meat pies...  
_I let out a heavy sight. "Of course we can't go on like this. Of course she will kill us all. Trust me, I didn't ASK to be placed here." _Although it does make things feel a lot better when Edward looks at me like that... _"None of us did. But here we are, and there is nothing we can do about it. All we can do is try. Try to cooperate, or at least stand each other, try to..."  
_Survive. _I just can't say that in Edward's presence. He's so innocent and trusting, like a child..._  
_Instead, I change the subject:  
"Isn't it time for dinner soon? Oh yes, it is. Sally and Mrs. Lovett, I will need your help with the cooking. If you feel well enough, of course." I add with a glance on their big bellies. "Edward, I'll give you some vegetables to chop. Toby, lay the table please. And Jack... prepare a way to make Madame Lestrange join us for dinner without killing someone."


	2. Chapter 2

I wouldn't say I'm a great cook, but I'm not totally hopeless. I can follow a recipe with a decent result and I know some simpler things by heart. I boil pasta and, with a little help from Sally and Mrs. Lovett, I make a sauce for it. Edward chops five tomatoes, two cucumber, a whole lettuce and bell peppers in three different colours and it ends up a lovely salad.  
As group leader and protector, I find a seating arrangement necessary. I don't exactly make nameplates, but I try to keep my control. Myself I sit down next to Edward, with Toby on my other side which places him between me and Mrs. Lovett. And I make sure the only free seats for Bellatrix and Sweeney, when they come downstairs, will be next to each other between Mrs. Lovett and Jack.

The silence is awkward, the flatware clash unnatural loud and I'm holding my breath. Bellatrix sits quietly next to Jack, eating slowly with her eyes lowered. Sweeney does pretty much the same thing.  
_Why did I place myself across from him? He's so sexy, gaaaaah...  
_I force myself to stop staring at him, reminding myself of the fact that he's dangerous. And of the fact that Mrs. Lovett is carrying his child. So he obviously loves her enough to go to bed with her, even though the tone between them seems to be pretty much the same as in the movie. Maybe it was just a one-night stand; maybe he doesn't love her at all... Honestly I haven't asked any of them. The climate in this house is strained enough already.  
"What a lovely dinner, Lea!"  
I can't help smiling. At least someone is appreciating me.  
"Thank you, Jack. I'm glad you liked it."  
"It was lovely, really."  
"Thank you, Sally. You helped. How is the baby?"  
She smiles, putting a hand on her belly. "She's active. "  
I don't know if Sally actually knows the gender of her unborn child (do they have sonography in Halloween Town?) or if she simply guesses. Doesn't matter to me, though. Pumpkin Prince or Princess, Jack and Sally will be lovely parents no matter which.  
_At least one pregnancy in this house is simple. Should I ask the other women in this room about how their children are or will they start screaming and crying and will someone get killed?  
_I decide to take the risk. After all, I'm group leader now. And since I've locked in all sharp things that could be used against me, I feel pretty safe at the moment.  
"How is your child, Mrs. Lovett?" I ask in a friendly tone.  
She actually smiles slightly. "Healthy."  
I smile back. Then I turn to Bellatrix:  
"How is your child, Madame Lestrange? And, more important, how are _you_? I know it's hard to talk about, but..."  
"You don't know anything, your filthy half blood!"  
_Well, so much for that kindness...  
_And yes, I couldn't cope to tell her that I'm a muggle and have never even gone to Hogwarts. So I said I am a half blood, since I've always felt stuck between two different worlds, and that I was in Gryffindor when I went to Hogwarts, since it's the house I should be in according to most tests. Do I need to mention that these two telling didn't exactly make her like me more?  
_Even if wanted to lie I would never pass for neither a pure blood witch nor a Slytherin kid...  
_"Yes, Madame Lestrange, I do believe I know quite a lot." I say rigidly. "I've been in love with the wrong people for my whole life; ready to do anything for them while they hardly look my way. Or worse: make fun of me."  
"You're weak, half blood. You should have..."  
"This is not about me." I interrupt before she insults me even more. "It is about _you_. Are you, for example, planning to raise the child on your own?"  
_Sure, I am weak. That's why I'm a dreaming poet and not a muggle torturing Death Eater...  
_She snorts. "I'm not raising that child at all. If the Dark Lord doesn't want it, neither do I. I will kill it as soon as it has been born."  
Sally, Jack and Mrs. Lovett gasp. Sadly, I'm not even surprised anymore. I'm trying to come up with a constructive answer to that, but Sweeney is faster:  
"Your heartless witch." he hisses. "Do you have any idea how much I would pay to have a single day with my child, my beautiful Johanna?"  
"How dare you, your filthy muggle?" She gets up from her chair, pointing her wand to Sweeney's throat. Her eyes are glowing with rage. Sweeney gets up even quicker and unfolds his razor. I feel Edward shake next to me and put a calming hand on his arm, while my brain is working frenetically. How in Earth do I handle this situation? They're both capable of killing one another without second thoughts, and none of them would listen to me if I told them to stop. There is, in fact, a risk that they would kill me too.  
_Survival for me and my wards. If I take Edward, Toby, Sally, Jack and Mrs. Lovett upstairs and let Sweeney and Bellatrix kill each other, so that we could finally get some peace at this house...  
_Gaah who am I kidding; I adore them both and could never let them kill each other. No matter how much they scare me or how mean they are to me or to the others.  
Then, just as I'm starting to panic, Jack stands up and says with a deep, mighty voice:  
"Stop it, both of you! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Now, go to your rooms and leave the rest of us alone!"  
They low their wand and razor, start shaking with fear and then run upstairs like grounded children. I start laughing with relief.  
"Jack, I... wow! You probably saved our lives!"  
He smiles. "No need to thank me, Lea. After all; keeping order is my duty as the Pumpkin King."  
_Of course there is a need to thank you, without you someone would certainly have lost their life!  
_"I don't know what I would do without you, Jack. Really."_  
_


End file.
